Thursday, February 13, 2014

Pushing SEND. And starting again.

Every time I send a manuscript off to my editor, it's *such* a relief.  That previous week I'm all: "Why do I DO this?  Maybe I could get a job at Trader Joe's..."  I snivel and whine (mostly in my mind, though the people around me are not immune) and give up little things like relationships, exercise, basic hygiene, and sleep.  I'm a mess, basically.

When I hit SEND I slump with relief, take a shower, walk around the lake, reach out to my friends, and sleep. And think about picking up a job application to someplace sane.

My editor invariably sends a chirpy email in response, saying: "Good job! Take a little time off, you deserve it!" And I say to myself, "hell YEAH I'm taking some time off.  Maybe forever!"

And the next morning?  I'm back at my computer, all excited about my next project.  It's amazing.

Family and friends gently suggest I do as my editor said, take a little time.  And I'm all "I'm going to, really, just as soon as I get this new idea down..."

So what does that say about me?   That I’m an addict, basically.  Like an alcoholic, I don’t learn my lesson from a bad hangover.  I’m right back there, doing the same old thing, and loving it.  Because each time could be better, I could write something more interesting, learn about something new...every new story is a new opportunity.

Not everyone catches the writing bug -- and I’m sure the world’s better for not having to deal with all the whining and bad hygiene.  But I would wish THIS upon everyone:  that you have the luck, at some point in life, to find a passion, and pursue it. 

Now, where’d I put that job application to Trader Joe’s…?


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