Sunday, March 18, 2012

How to be Irresistible, Gents

by Sophie


Let's skip the lines and go straight to the pick-up, shall we?

Juliet and I have an ongoing conversation about how a man can make himself irresistible. It's not really all that complicated, and we've even shared it with a few gents, but it must be the sort of thing that you can't fake because we haven't exactly noticed a huge uptick in the number of men using these foolproof methods.

I should note that this may not work with beginners...these are power tools for grown-up men, *not* boys. And they're guaranteed to attract grown-up women...not girls still figuring out who they are and how things work.

1. Notice babies and children. This one trumps every other trick, I swear it. Go to an airport sometime and find the gate for a nonstop to JFK. There will be lots of interesting men sitting around, waiting. Now find the gal flying solo with a baby and a toddler. Take note of all the men casting her irritated looks and making comments to strangers about if that was his kid, he'd damn well shut it the hell up. I WOULD NOT DATE THAT MAN IN A THOUSAND YEARS. Now find the man - it may take a few minutes - who can't help grinning 'cause the kid reminds him of his own or a nephew or even himself at that age, or because, aw, hell, they just don't stay little long enough. If he compliments the little tyke or picks up his dropped binky or helps untangle a blanky from a stroller wheel, well, I'm a goner.

2. Tip extravagantly. Seriously, guy, how much is [fill in your favorite amorous activity] worth to you? More than ten bucks, surely? Drop a ten for the coffee shop waitress or the guy who brings your car around...see what it buys you. The right woman will notice.

3. Compliment someone who could use one. Not your date (although I suppose that can't hurt) - but tell an elderly woman that her blouse brings the blue out in her eyes, or an awkward teen that you like his tattoo.

4. Give up your seat, your place in line, your table, your cab...anything at all, to someone who needs it.

I probably don't need to go get the gist. A generous man stirs passions in the right woman. A man who seeks to impress by intimidating, bullying, bribing, or powerbrokering gets exactly the woman he deserves.

...and just 'cause I feel like it, a few men we know in the biz who have all the right moves!


Jon said...

Huh. Who knew? After all these years of "Have I died and gone to heaven? Because I'm looking at an angel now..." working so well. :)

Actually, the older I get, the wiser my mom's "Kindness is a virtue" mantra becomes in ways that aren't necessarily all on the surface. Habits sink into the bone and so the habit of kindness changes the kinder in addition to the kindee. Ok, not so much changes them as becomes them.

AND while I'm waxing irrelevant on a Monday morning about moms, does anyone other than me want to replace the public speaking trick "Imagine the audience in their underwear" for politicians with "Imagine your mother and your opponent's mother are sitting in the front row"?

Hmmm...civility. And that, dear Sophie, links back to your point, I think. Or as much as I can before an infusion of more coffee.

Sophie Littlefield said...

kinder...kindee! love it :) and I *adore* your new trick for politicians. My naughty side wants to take it a step further....imagine your mom and your opponent's mom are involved in a second-chance romance... LOL

thanks Jon! coffee cheers

William Doonan said...

If you were a tear, I would not cry for fear of losing you!

Anonymous said...

I'm an over-tipper and always have been - and, indeed, have a hard time understanding those who are not. The difference between an okay tip and a princely one usually boils down to rounding up rather than down, and maybe leaving a couple extra bucks rather than asking to have a ten broken. I know just enough about waiting tables to realize that anybody I'm in a position to tip works a hell of a lot harder than I do.

Now you know why the local Domino's drivers love me.

L.G.C. Smith said...

Hear, hear. I have a dear friend who was once married to an entrepreneur who had Steve Jobs on speed dial, plenty of money, and was not kind. Ever. Now she's married to a fellow who is perpetually underemployed and utterly lacking in ambition but who is kind to children and animals and tips like a sultan even when it means he'll go without something. Many times other friends have asked, "Why did she leave El Jefe for Mr. Nobody?" and the answer is always, "Because Mr. N is kind." Women always nod. Some men do.

Juliet Blackwell said...'re giving away all our secrets! Who knows, maybe kindness will become all the rage. Also, I love that you "outed" a few particularly kind authors we happen to know ;-)

Steve said...

How lovely to find myself in the Irresistible Author-Gent Hall of Fame! Thanks, Sophie! (Lucky for me you've never seen me kick a dog or tell an orphan, "Go away, kid. You bother me.") I recognize Gary Phillips in there with me, but who's the other fine fellow?

P.S.: I finished Rebirth a couple days ago and can't wait to get my hands on Horizon. I'll have a few questions for you the next time we talk. As always, I was impressed. Wow, do you ever dig deep under a protagonist's itchy, scarred skin....

Barbara said...

It's my life mission to be polite. Funny thing is politeness brings patience--for poky drivers, old people, new cashiers, small children. It's amazing how you can see your "please" or "thank you" make someone feel better and it costs nothing. Serious life secrets told here. Excellent post!

Sophie Littlefield said...

thanks for chiming in, everyone! so now I will reveal.... that was Gary Phillips, Steve Hockensmith, and Jonathan Hayes in my gents' hall of fame. I wanted to include Jon Kwiatkowsky from Murder by the Book in houston but couldn't find a good snap. There's a few other splendid ones but I am keeping them secret!

Anonymous said...

Kindness to everyone is one of the traits of my husband. But I vehemently disagree about the being tolerant of screaming kids one, #1.

I'd have run for the hills if I had encountered a man who thought that modern kiddie misbehavior was okay. I had bad dates but thank heavens I never had one of THOSE.