Monday, July 4, 2011

4th of July

L.G.C. Smith

Best wishes to all for an oops-free 4th of July. No burnt hamburgers. No dogs grabbing the buns and making a run for it. No bottle rockets landing on shake roofs. No letting your kid who's allergic to walnuts eat Aunt Debbie's Waldorf salad--with finely chopped walnuts. No forgetting the charcoal, paper cups, vodka (or your tipple of choice), ice, baseball tickets, sippy cups, benadryl, matches, little flags, sunscreen, etc. No getting ticks or mosquito bites, no crying, whining, or getting caught spitting Grandma's weird green jello salad with cottage cheese, celery, and pineapple into your napkin. Say NO to undercooked chicken. Wear a belt if you have a skinny ass. Hang on to bikini tops in water slides. Don't drop the cake.

That's a cake I dropped. Originally four layers. Coconut. Made with a fresh freakin' coconut. I failed to secure the bottom layer with a dollop of frosting. Oops.

Have a great Fourth!


toni in florida said...

Mmmm, coconut cake! It still looks edible, if you serve it in a bowl and a spoon and maybe a dollop of vanilla ice cream. As my mom would say, "It's for eatin', not for lookin' at."

Happy 4th to all of you Pens and to your readers and to us all.

As for me, I shall spend the bulk of the day sleeping, then I'll be at work at my county's 911 center for 12 hours. I'll second your "stay safe" message and underscore it with the thought that fireworks are not for children or drunks or for torturing animals and sleeping people, so be considerate, 'kay?

And thanks for letting me use your comments section as a forum for my impromptu public-service announcement. We all do what we can, n'est-ce pas?

Martha Flynn said...

Unfortunately, Toni, I can tell from the cracking explosions outside that someone in our neighborhood is headed for an inevitable oops.

Hope your 12 hour shift is not *too* eventful. I bet you and Rachael could trade some stories. :)

L.G.C. Smith said...

Hi, Toni. That cake was indeed still edible. A little knife work removed the parts in contact with the floor and side of the cupboards. Some of what was left made it to the cake plate. The rest got plopped into a pie pan and served up with a big ice cream scoop.

Happy to have you put out the word on being safe with fireworks. It's a bit of a pet peeve in my house. I love fireworks, but we had a neighbor who made his own rockets out of sprinkler head housings and black powder. It sounded like we lived in a war zone. The dang things set off every car alarm for blocks, and landed hot on tinder dry landscaping and roofs. No amount of reasonable discussion dissuaded this idiot. Fortunately he moved, which only means he's a menace in another neighborhood. There's a difference between oops and flat out stupidity.

Liz V. said...

My dog votes for oopses, of the cake variety--but definitely not for firecrackers.