Thursday, March 24, 2011

Adrienne Rambles About Animals

I’m contractually obligated not to have any pets. No really. It’s in my lease in big, bold typeface. No Freakin’ Animals! or we kick your butt out. And they mean it.


This a sign posted at the entrance of our complex, so don’t even think about sneaking me in a kitty. Violators will be prosecuted, mind you. 
Not that I mind. I’m not a real animal lover. I’ve had pets that I’ve loved, and they were great, but the truth is that most animals make me a little nervous. Especially wild animals (ok, I know this is supposed to be about pets, but it turns out that’s about all I’ve got in me about the domesticated critters).
Of course, there are the ones that I’m downright afraid of. The usual cast of characters 


snakes


eels


face eating spiders (probably an urban legend, but whoever let facts get in the way of good irrational fear)


geese
Ok, I’m aware the geese don’t make anybody else’s scary animal list, but let me tell you those beaky little devils are terrifying. 
So with this general distrust of the animal kingdom in mind, I went to animalinyou.com to find out what my animal personality was. Why them, you ask. Well, everyone knows that on top of being “the most accurate personality test on the web” and having been featured on both CNN and Dr. Phil, they are also the first result to pop up on Google. And, hell, that’s good enough for me.
After answering a few rather personal questions, their super computers went to work and came up with...Walrus.


Great...I’m a walrus.
I have no idea how they came up with that.



8 comments:

Sophie Littlefield said...

you make a darling, darling walrus, sugar. that snake picture? terrifying!!!!!

Rachael Herron said...

hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. And I agree with Sophie, I'm going to have nightmares about that snake pic.

Adrienne Miller said...

Yep, that's pretty much every snake nightmare I've ever had. For some reason my subconscious is convinced that all animals long to eat our faces off.

Tom Neely said...

Come on....snakes and eels are sooo snuggly and cuddly, with no pesky limbs to get in the way.

Juliet Blackwell said...

Wild! I had a snake dream just last night! Wait...Freud had something to say about that...but mine wasn't frightening, it was all snuggly, like Tom says. Does that make it worse???

Adrienne Miller said...

Juliet - snake symbolism can be incredibly positive, the infinity of life, the closeness to the earth energy and all that. I really have nothing against any animal, I just don't want to hang out with them, because, you know, see above about the face eating.

Martha Flynn said...

what? no beatles jokes?

love it.

L.G.C. Smith said...

All right, I did the test. I am...a penguin.

Juliet, at least you didn't dream about rattlesnakes. That's the kind of snake I dream about. Once in a while. Often this time of year when the snakes start warming up. Adrienne, sometime I'll tell you my snake stories from when I lived in South Dakota. It was like "Dances with Snakes" in the spring.