Friday, December 24, 2010

Kate Perry's Museum....

Pens are so very pleased to welcome Kate Perry. Kate is the author of the Guardians of Destiny series, a Kung Fu Master, a tango enthusiast, and a cupcake aficionado. Voted by her friends as the woman they'd most want to stroll with down a dark alley, Kate's as likely to be spotted at the opera as she is practicing swordplay in Golden Gate Park.

Glass of wine in hand, Amy sat down on my kitchen floor. “Are you going to get a kitchen table soon? I don’t mind plopping on the floor because you’re making me dinner, but isn’t it time?”

“I just moved in, and I’ve been too busy to go furniture shopping.” I stirred mushrooms into the pan of caramelizing onions.

“Speaking of why you’re busy… I bought TEMPTED BY FATE last week. I’m on the handcuff scene. Hawt. ” She fanned herself. “So how is the new book release going?”

“I have one more guest blog to write.” I turned around, brandishing the wooden spatula. “I’m supposed to write about museums.”

“That’s perfect for you. You’ve been to museums all around the world. Write about your favorite one. Or the city that has the best museums.”

I added cream to my mixture, turned the heat down, and faced Amy. “Actually, I had this other idea.”


“It doesn’t involve explosives this time.”

“That’s only slightly reassuring.” She sighed in resignation. “Tell me.”

“I’m going to open my own museum.”

Amy blinked. “Just when I think I’m used to your crazy ideas, you spring something like this on me. Where are you going to open your museum?”

“Right here.” I waved at the bare walls of my new apartment. “I have prime real estate, not to mention that parking is easy in my neighborhood and I’m by two major Muni lines.”

“Yeah, but where are you going to get paintings from? I doubt you have a bunch of Chagall canvases hiding in your attic.”

“I’m going to do the paintings myself.”

“But you don’t paint, Kate.”

“Yeah, I do,” I said excitedly. I ran to my bedroom, grabbed my pack of paintings, and skid back into the kitchen. “Look.”

She silently flipped through my informal portfolio.

“And I have all these ideas for other paintings. I’d like to do a series based on my Guardians of Destiny series, depicting my heroines kicking ass. And maybe I’ll do a series on the Chinese elements my Guardians represent. And I’d like to do a series on fruit.”


“Like tomatoes on the vine.”

“Oo-kay.” She handed me back the paintings. “I don’t want to be a killjoy, but you write, you study kung fu several days a week, and you have a crazy dating schedule—“

“I’ve also been tango dancing.”

“Exactly!” Amy threw her arms in the airs. “When are you going to fit painting and being a curator in there?”

“I’ll cut back dating to two nights a week. And I don’t need that much sleep.”

Amy opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again to down some wine. Finally, she shook her head. “You do realize that if you turn your apartment into a museum, people will constantly be walking through. Which means you’ll have to clean more often.”

“Oh.” I frowned. “I hate cleaning.”

“I know.”


She nodded. “I know.”

I brightened. “Maybe I can build a robot to do the cleaning.”

“Around your book deadlines?”

“If I created a heroine who was a painter-slash-inventor, then I could chalk it all up to research.”

“You—I—“ Amy shook her head and held out her glass. “Is there more wine?”

Kate can be found on her website at and follow her most excellent posts on Twitter @kateperry


Kate Perry said...

Thanks for having me here, ladies!

Peeps: feel free to ask me questions. I'll even try to answer them honestly. ;)

Martha Flynn said...

Those are great! And the Roomba is only the beginning - there will soon be a cleaning robot - fingers crossed!

Juliet Blackwell said...

Welcome to the Pens!!! And I LOVE your idea about opening your own museum...could I hang some stuff there? But you're right about the cleaning being a drag...maybe it needs more thought ;-) I'm looking forward to reading your books -- am intrigued by the handcuff scene!

Rachael Herron said...

I'll be right over for the viewing! (And yes to the Roomba, a clear floor is half the battle in my house.)

Kate Perry said...

Yes, Juliet, I'd happily include your works in my museum. We'll talk. ;)

Martha and Rachael: you know the western style bars with peanut shells covering the floor? What do you think? Granted, I'd have to eat a lot of peanuts in a hurry to cover the entire space, but it's doable. Then I won't have to worry about cleaning.

Parisa Z said...

You could have a Peanut Party. In which you invite people over to eat peanuts and toss shells on the floor. Add music, and voila. Instant party. And you don't have to eat a zillion peanuts.

JB Lynn said...

I was going to suggest that you GIVE people a handful of peanuts and tell them it's an interactive art project....

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