Thursday, July 1, 2010

Adrienne's Got Game

--Adrienne Miller

Thirteen years ago, my husband, Tom, and I played our one and only game of chess. I say game because to me that's what chess is; it's a board game, much like checkers or Monopoly, slightly more complicated than Chutes and Ladders, but, hey, you're in the same ballpark. It took me about half the game to realize that in Tom's mind we were engaged in a battle far more profound than my "hey! you sunk my battleship!" attitude. To him, we were at war, a battle of minds that would define our character, intelligence, and, I'm pretty sure, even our worth as human beings.

I didn't get it at first, probably because I'm not great at chess. I'm Ok. I don't suck. I'm sure if I applied myself I could improve my game and begin to see it with the tactician's eye that Tom does. But, to be honest, that's pretty low on my To Do List. But I get the whole, this is not a mere game, this is war mindset. I do. Just not about chess.

I understood perfectly the first time I rode me a little ride at Disneyland called Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters. See, I'm good at that game. Real good. Real Damn Good. 

Well, I didn't start out that damn good. At first I was pretty good. Better than most. But this game, it is addictive. I wanted to be better than good. I wanted to be the best. 

I was determined.

Note how much more serious my expression becomes as my score increases. That's how you can tell I mean it. *wink*

There was another side effect of my pure awesomeness. No one wanted to ride with me anymore. I think it all started when my husband wanted to pose for a cutesy picture at the end, so I indulged him. Turns out, he was thinking I would stop firing just to mug for some silly camera. 

He was wrong. 

After that we parted ways on ol' Buzz.

He's a better solo act anyway.

My dad knows where I'm coming from. These Disneyland trips are big family events after all. Things are hard on those who have the gift. First the people we love start to resent our special powers.

Then they lose interest all together.

But we overcome. First, we become mighty.

Look! Momma can even kick alien booty one handed with a baby on her knee.

Then we become Legend.


Tom Neely said...

Be careful sweetheart. It's lonely at the top. .....and cold too, but mainly lonely.

Sophie Littlefield said...

Thank you for making me smile today, sweet pea :)

Martha Flynn said...

You scare me a little, but I think I like it!

Anonymous said...

It is not very often that I get the chance to laugh out loud at work. Very, very clever! Sometimes pictures speak louder than words, eh? By the way, who is that rather grumpy-looking, albeit attractive, aging Mousketeer with your father?

Unknown said...


Unknown said...

I'm in awe!!! I can shoot the hell out of several kinds of real guns, from black powder rifles to cheap .38s. But I *cannot* get my Astro Blaster groove on. Husband kills me every time.

Toy Story Mania, now, give that a whirl!

Adrienne Bell said...

Martha - I'll take that hard earned compliment. I know too well how hard it is to scare you.

Mysti - I have never even held an actual gun. Someday I'm going to talk Rachael into taking me down to the shooting range, but I'm not sure my Buzz skillz will translate into the real world.

Anon - Hmmm? Do I know you? You sound awful familiar.

Rachael Herron said...


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