Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Martha Hates Technology

My feelings about technology are best summarized by this video:



Despite promises, technology never seems to work exactly how it's supposed to, when it's supposed to.

- My GPS gets me lost more than it gets me found.

- The automated "customer service" voice has never, ever, ever helped me.

- Stupid "safe" passwords just mean my account is safe from me remembering how to login.

- What do I do with the stupid blue screen of death on my computer? What did I do to deserve it?

- If you unplugged my TV/Playstation/VCR/TiVos, I'd have no idea how they all went together.

- I don't get why I have five remote controls and all have to be in different input settings to make anything work.

- Why are there tons of DVD types and why is one better than the other and why can I buy one but not the other and why do I need to take up valuable brain space keeping it all together?

- Why is it when banks/retail stores/telephone companies "make mistakes" they blame it on "the computer" or "the server" or "the system" and this makes it okay that no one can fix anything because we are all powerless against this mystery technology?

I know technology gives me things I'd have a hard time living without. My TiVo. Cameras. Shiatsu massage chairs (sooo awesome). Plumbing.

But let's just say that come apocalypse time, I won't mind unplugging.

11 comments:

Rachael Herron said...

I think you should learn to spin. If you can do the Daring Things like muay thai and stuff like that, you can run a spinning wheel. You would like it. A lot. Yep.

L.G.C. Smith said...

The Romans got to have plumbing without having to deal with coordinating five remotes. They also had decent roads. They liked baths a lot. My inner tech meter might be stuck at Roman Empire levels.

That spinning wheel sounds pretty appealing, Rachael.

Juliet Blackwell said...

Okay, Martha will spin, Rachael will knit us sweaters...and I'll paint pictures because we'll really need art during the apocalypse. Hmm...hope I'm not the first one to be killed and eaten ;-)

Martha Flynn said...

I have to start with shearing sheep first!

Lisa Hughey said...

um-can i just be everyone's mom? i don't really have a skill, oh wait i cook, i cook...and without a microwave :) :)

camille@minichino.com said...

Bad news: the Apocalypse is arriving through C-band satellite service only.

Sophie Littlefield said...

I thought having kids would fix all my tech problems. what i didn't forsee was that while they know exactly *how* to fix the TV/computer/cellphone/whatever, unfortunatley they just don't feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel like it right now...

Gigi Pandian said...

Martha, you missed the BEST printer scene in Office Space, when they're in the field with the baseball bat!

Martha Flynn said...

omg Camille, lol - don't joke! :)

Gigi - I love that scene but it's almost two minutes long! Yikes! So I had to leave it out. I originally wanted this post to be a video of me beating the crap out of some of our old equipment, but the husband wouldn't hear of it. Ugh.

Sophie, you're a softy. You gotta develop that "do it or sleep outside" approach.

Camille@minichino.com said...

Love Martha's kid advice, but a quicker way might be, "do it or I'll unplug you."

Supriya said...

I am still laughing at the one about getting lost with the GPS!! I, ahem, recognize that story.