Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Martha Supersucks At This Fan Thing

Exhibit A: In 2001, when I decided to become "a serious writer" I joined the local Romance Writers of America (RWA) chapter and unknowingly walked into their "author appreciation event" and sat down at a table of Big Names. Only I didn't know they were big names. I didn't know their names at all.

Poo on me, right? Well they did. Not literally. But they ignored the crap out of me. They let my one-liners drop on dead air with a look of disdain before continuing their conversation. In short, they were douchebags. And I let it get to me. And a few months later I quit. Which makes me a douchebag, too.

Exhibit B: In 2003 I went to New York for the summer with the husband. We passed the most adorable little puppy so I started freaking out. The husband started freaking out. I said, "Wasn't that the cutest puppy ever?" And the husband said, "What are you talking about? That was Isaac Mizrahi holding some dog." Oops.

Exhibit C: In 2008, I returned to writing and to RWA and found that Fate and Karma had weeded out the douchebags (thank you, ladies).

I stuck around, met the Pens, and together with a few other lovely ladies we rocked a suite at Nationals. I was chilling in our suite in a night shirt when a voice drifted in: "May I see your room?" "Oh sure," said my roommates. I jumped up, walked over pantless and promptly met Kristin Higgins. I Heart Kristin Higgins. I workship at the altar of Kristin Higgins. I only worship at about five altars, for the record.
I shook my hero's hand without my pants on. I waited until she left. And I promptly had a shit fit. What did these lovely ladies of this blog do? THEY INVITED HER OVER FOR A DRINK THE NEXT NIGHT. Kristin is lovely. Hilarious. Gracious. Which is probably why they proceeded to tell her of my pantless hero worship, which she found (god I hope) amusing.

I guess I found it amusing, too. Until the next night when I was in the bar networking. Meeting agents. Meeting authors. Putting on my game face. Rachael put in a teasing note about how I'd managed to wear pants. And Big Name Agent looked at me and said, "Oh, are you that girl Kristin was talking about? Oh, she loved that story. She was quite flattered."

Yes. Me, too. I'm THAT GIRL. Without the pants.

Conclusion:
I am no good at being a fan. Not of people I should be in awe of nor people I actually am in awe of. Just lock me in a small room and make sure I don't meet anyone. Ever.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

At least you are memorable!!

- Alie

Lisa Hughey said...

The funniest thing about this was that I didn't realize Martha wasn't wearing pants until after Kristin left. At which point Martha had a complete meltdown. I hadn't read Kristan's work (yet) and so was completely unaware of her brilliance (and she is) until Martha (and Rachael) gushed about her books and I had to spend a morning reading instead of attending workshops. :)

Juliet Blackwell said...

I always take it as a compliment if someone meets me at the door without their pants on...;-)

Kelly said...

If they remember you, I'd say you are a great fangirl!
This is a cute blogsite by the way!

Anonymous said...

Oh, me too. Last week, I knocked on a door and Bruce Coville opened it. I'm not sure anything intelligible came past my lips for the first few minutes.

~ Amber Lough

Rachael Herron said...

hahhahahaha.
and hahahaha.
Still one of the funniest stories ever. Because if it had been me with no pants on, it would have been just as funny, because I'm the same size fangirl about her. But it was you, so I get to tell it (but you would enjoy telling it about me, so if you ever go somewhere where no one knows us, you should tell it that way, just for a change of pace).

Martha Flynn said...

Oh Amber, Bruce is a powerhouse. I would have probably lost my tongue.

Kelly, thanks for the compliment. We love our blog. :) Although, ahem, sometimes the ladies I blog with are troublemakers!!

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